5 Tips for Surviving the Holidays

The holidays can be kind of weird.  Despite all the ‘Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ jingles, it’s the toughest time of the year for many people. Some people over-commit to family, friends, volunteer tasks … they find themselves over-scheduled and unable to actually enjoy the season. Some of us dread the inevitable, obligatory socializing and the pressure of being ‘on’.  Some of us are grieving.

Here are a few less-typical Holiday Survival Tips.  Some of them are brilliant.  Some of them are not. But maybe you’ll find a nugget in here.

Ditch obligations

Just because you’ve always gone to Aunt Sue’s for Christmas Eve doesn’t mean you always have to. You can stop going.   Say, “I’m starting a new tradition this year, I’m really looking forward to cooking with my kids and having a quiet family night.” Then set up another time to visit Aunt Sue when you’ll actually be able to visit with her, instead of just a hug between appetizers while stuffed into a small house with 30 loud relatives.

Reframe obligations

When clients talk about their long “to-do list” for the holidays and how stressful it is, my response is often a question: “What makes you feel like you need to check off every single item on the list?” Admittedly, some may genuinely enjoy the flurry of activity, whether it’s baking an array of cookies or catching up with distant relatives. And that’s perfectly fine. But let’s shift our perspective away from viewing tasks and events as burdensome chores.

Surviving the holidays shouldn’t feel like a competition for martyrdom. Whether you bake your Bundt cake from scratch or opt for a mix, it’s ultimately about what brings you joy. Let’s release the pressure of meeting perceived expectations and focus on what truly matters to us individually. It’s time to prioritize our own happiness and well-being, even if it means saying no to activities that don’t align with our desires.

Stick with the people who warm your soul

Some of us are not close to our families.  For many people, family relationships are rarely nourishing and often painful.  We’ve built friendships that stand in for the sibling and parental relationships that will simply never be fulfilling.

Why feel obligated to spend a holiday with anyone other than those who bring us joy and unconditional love?  Create a holiday plan with the people you most enjoy and cherish — or at the very least, an escape plan to unwind with the people who will let you vent after a stressful family interaction.

Step back from the gift-giving (and receiving) or just change it dramatically

Do you really want another gift set of perfumey bath gel and body lotion?  Do you really want to be giving that to someone else?  Probably not.  Maybe it’s time to reexamine your gift-giving habits. Instead of exchanging gifts with your adult friends and family, maybe you can decide to spend that money having a great dinner together in January?

If you feel attached to giving a tangible object, can you simplify the process?  Find one universal gift, and give it to all your people.  A jar of local honey from your favorite apiary, a holiday ornament purchased from a local charity, etc.

Rethink your assumptions

Just because you’ve always done the holidays a certain way, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing that.  It’s all a choice.  Sometimes you don’t even need to change the pattern, just recognizing that it’s a choice is enough.

Wishing you a happy, merry, joyous holiday season (whatever you may celebrate). I hope you get exactly the holiday you want (and deserve).